What is your current emotional state - are you able to control you emotional state or do you feel completely ‘out of balance’? Being out of balance emotionally usually involves:
not allowing yourself to experience your feelings as they evolve
avoiding or suppressing your natural emotional response to a situation
or identifying so strongly with your emotions that they are all-consuming.
Emotional balance occurs when we allow ourselves to feel whatever comes up, without stifling or being overwhelmed by it, and learn to accept our feelings without judgment. Throughout any given day, you may experience a range of emotional states, some positive and some that are negative or distressing. The emotional state we are in is important, as it affects how we behave and the results we get. Emotional states are not something that “happen” to us, rather we create them based on how we view the world. Is the view clouded, dark and miserable or are your thoughts positive, optimistic and expressed with harmony toward others?
You can empower yourself to have control over your emotional state so that life is more balanced. Having control of your emotions will have a profound effect on all aspects of your life, particularly your relationships.
For a few moments spend time now thinking about specific times in the past when you have felt happy or have been laughing so hard it hurts! You will be amazed at all the positive emotions you have experienced and how it is possible to re-create these feelings again just by thinking about them.
Another technique is ‘anchoring’. This is a neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) technique that empowers you to manage your emotional state and change it ‘at will’ in order to experience emotional freedom.
Anchors occur when associations are made between an external situation or an emotional response to that situation. For example:
- hearing a certain piece of music may remind you of a situation or event from the past that was enjoyable
- the scent of a perfume or some other aroma reminds you of someone you know or a pleasant place you have visited.
Not all anchors are positive. People learn to make negative associations between things, such as feeling anxious or worried when going for a job interview or giving a presentation to colleagues or attending a function where they don’t know anyone. These are associated with unpleasant experiences and feelings of discomfort.
If we avoid or suppress our feelings, then they invariably come out in various forms of behaviour, most often outside of our awareness. Suppressed feelings contribute to negative ‘self talk’. Eventually these thoughts and feelings will find a way out—often through some sort of unhealthy, self-defeating or explosive behaviour. It is possible to learn anchoring to bring harmony and emotional balance to your life.
“The best way out is always through.” Robert Frost
Become aware that you are experiencing an emotion. Identify the particular emotion. It may be helpful to close your eyes, turn your focus inward, and allow yourself to experience the emotion in your body. For example:
anger might manifest as tightness in your neck and shoulders,
sadness as an aching in your chest,
fear as a knot in your stomach,
and joy as warmth in your heart.
Create an anchor – such as clasping your hands together. Take a few deep breaths – then slow your breathing to its normal, relaxed rhythm. Then repeat the most appropriate affirmation for the situation:
Overcome fear, anxiety or procrastination
Situations appear overwhelming and seemingly impossible to resolve;
Feelings of depression, sadness
Low self-esteem, feeling unworthy, fear of rejection
Anger and the need to control
Grief, Jealousy, fear of betrayal
Difficulty communicating or expressing feelings
Egotistic; Lack of concentration
Depression, headaches, sleeplessness
I remain focused and attentive to others
I trust my wisdom and intuition
I choose positive thoughts
Aimlessness, sense of loneliness
I am kind and compassionate toward myself and others;
I am connected to all things – people, the planet, the universe.
“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” Deepak Chopra